Please note: Names have been changed in order to protect the innocent.
Candace from Clearwater, Florida.
Okay. I’m engaged to my Mike, my fiancé of three years and I love him dearly. But, I have this problem. I have a male best friend, Tyrone that I have been feeling since high school. Mike knows about Tyrone, but doesn’t know just how close we are with one another. And I don’t mean close as in physically being with one another, but close as in telling each other everything that goes on in our lives from relationship problems to problems with my family. Usually after Mike leaves the house is when we have these conversations.
Lately, Tyrone and I have been messaging heavily telling each other how much we love one another as so called friends, but our conversations have been turning toward the explicit side. We are definitely saying things to each other that I wouldn’t want my Pastor to know about. Now, I just think this is all some harmless fun, but now when I even mention Mike’s name to Tyrone, he gets jealous and possessive. I don’t want to lose my fiancé or my best friend, so what should I do?
(Takes a sip of tea and crosses legs)
Girl … Now, I know you know better! Like the saying goes, “If you knew better, you’d do better.” First off, at this point if you are engaged, then Mike is the one you should be telling everything to and not Tyrone. I’m not saying you can’t have friends outside the relationship, but think of it this way… if you and Mike were going through a rough patch in your relationship, would you want him telling all your business to another female? Nope. So, you have to respect him in the same way. At the end of the day, no one owes Mike any loyalty besides YOU.
Secondly, come on now, you know not to be texting another man anything other then friendly messages. Once you get to that “explicit” part of the conversation, don’t you think you are getting emotionally involved with another man? And at this point, that can sometimes be even more dangerous than a physical relationship. No matter what guys say, they can sometimes be more emotional than females. (Don’t argue me on this, I am right. Men these days are built differently. Lol)
If this was me and I wanted to keep both my fiancé and best friend then the “explicit” conversation with Tyrone would stop and I would set some friendly ground rules if he wanted to continue our friendship. If he can’t follow those rules, then at this point you have to ask yourself who is more important, Mike or Tyrone …
Well, thank you Candace for being the first on my Advice Series! Readers, if there is anything else you want to let Candace know, leave your comments down below!
Until next time … Auntie Amber is out! (wink)